Book's proceeds April 12 to help child support fund Woman writes to help others deal with divorce, child support issues BY JESSICA SMITH Staff Writer OLD BRIDGE - In the minds of some, divorce represents failure. For Christina Rowe, it represented the beginnings of her success. In October, her book, "Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce," hit shelves for public consumption, and since then, she has received grateful responses from women facing the problems she once did. "I felt very passionately that I wanted to help other women who are going through this," Rowe said. On April 12, the Old Bridge native will take her efforts a step further. During her day-long best-seller campaign with Amazon.com, 100 percent of the proceeds of her book sales will go to the Child Support Disaster Fund of the Association for Children for the Enforcement of Support (ACES). "This is something that affected me, and my life, so deeply," Rowe said. "Many of these families are forced to go on welfare, so it affects everybody. It's really society's problem, I think." According to ACES, more than $107 billion in child support is owed to nearly 17 million children across the country. Christina Rowe Rowe's friends and colleagues have agreed to help out with her campaign. Each of them will send e-mails to everyone on their mailing lists on the day of the campaign, encouraging people to buy the book. Some among the group are best-selling authors who have donated free bonus gifts to be given out to those who purchase the book April 12. Included in the bonus package are e-books and MP3s from the authors, including a recording of an in-depth interview with divorce attorney and mediator Michael Magaril, and Rowe herself. "He is phenomenal," Rowe said. Magaril, like many other divorce lawyers, charges $400 per hour for his services, making the interview an invaluable bonus, Rowe said. Altogether, the bonus gifts are valued at $700. After 13 years of marriage, Rowe said she discovered that her husband was being unfaithful. A painful and messy divorce followed, taking up two years of her life, as well as $40,000 in legal fees. She said her husband also turned out to be a deadbeat. Only after he spent a month in the Middlesex County Adult Correction Center and had his wages garnished did Rowe begin to get the support that was due to her and her four children, she said. Before it was all over, Rowe had nearly lost her home. Luckily, she said, her family was willing to help, and she had credit cards to temporarily bail her out financially. Although Rowe's ex-husband was brought to justice, she said her case was the exception, not the rule. State agencies are slow to enforce the payment of child support, Rowe said. "Most of these men do not get arrested," Rowe said. "Many women actually just suffer in silence." Her comprehensive 200-page manual was written to ensure that women endure the least amount of suffering possible throughout the painful process. It covers everything from finding the right attorney to keeping one's emotions in check. "It will take immense stamina and self-control, but you must get - and keep - control over your emotions," Rowe wrote in her book. "Your ability to do so will affect everything from how you fare financially to how your children adjust." Rowe also outlines seven steps that should be taken before asking one's husband for a divorce, in order to prepare for the process. Along with tools for going through the courtroom battle, Rowe includes advice on working through the split with children, family and friends. "I learned so much going through my divorce," Rowe said. "These are things I wish I would have known." The book does not stop at the completion of the divorce. It also includes information on mourning one's marriage, reestablishing oneself financially, dating, and helping children cope with the traumas involved. "The kids suffer more than anybody, and that's the worst part," Rowe said. For more information about "Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce," or the bonus gifts that accompany it if ordered April 12, visit www.secretsof-divorce.com/freebonuses.htm. To find out more about the Child Support Disaster Fund, visit www.childsupport-aces.org.